Smart Funny Quotes

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin

What's another word for Thesaurus?
Steven Wright

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
Jane Wagner

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Milton Berle

Intelligence Quotes

A man of genius has a right to any mode of expression. Ezra Pound A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery. James Joyce A person must have a certain amount of intelligent ignorance to get anywhere. Charles Kettering A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether. Roy H. Williams A woman has to be intelligent, have charm, a sense of humor, and be kind. It's the same qualities I require from a man. Catherine Deneuve A woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her intuition. Gilbert K. Chesterton Action is the real measure of intelligence. Napoleon Hill Advice to intellectuals: let no-one represent you. Theodor Adorno Ah! yes, I know: those who see me rarely trust my word: I must look too intelligent to keep it. Jean-Paul Sartre All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is ne...

Best Experience Quotes

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. Albert Einstein The only source of knowledge is experience. Albert Einstein The sky is the limit. You never have the same experience twice. Frank McCourt The value of experience is not in seeing much, but in seeing wisely. William Osler The years teach much which the days never know. Ralph Waldo Emerson There are many truths of which the full meaning cannot be realized until personal experience has brought it home. John Stuart Mill There are three methods to gaining wisdom. The first is reflection, which is the highest. The second is limitation, which is the easiest. The third is experience, which is the bitterest. Confucius There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. Josh Billings There's a beauty to wisdom and experience that cannot be faked. It's impossible to be mature without having lived. Amy Grant We are...

Famous Quotes

A friend at school was always being laughed at because his father emptied dustbins for a living. But those who laughed worshipped famous footballers. This is an example of our topsy-turvy view of 'success.' Who would we miss most if they did not work for a month, the footballer or the garbage collector? David Icke Actually, bizarrely, in America, I get more appreciation from the odd, unusual stuff I've done, almost because I'm not, if you like, famous in America as I am in England. Steve Coogan Among famous traitors of history one might mention the weather. Ilka Chase And to me, fame is not a positive thing. The idea of being famous is a lot better than the reality. It's fantastic when you go to premieres and people cheer you, but it's not real. And it's totally not my approach to get my name on a club door just because I can. Tom Felton Andy Warhol made fame more famous. Fran Lebowitz Bill Cosby is a famous black guy who has a bully pulpit the size of ...

Wise and Inspirational Words Collection

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